By Emily, Belgium
Table of Contents
A taste of Purity : Personal story
Why do I forget?
Why do I keep going back to that life and call it real?
Time changes rhythm.
At first, it’s almost nothing. A subtle shift in the air. An invisible bubble starts to form around the ashram, without noise, without warning. And slowly, without knowing exactly when or how, I’ve stepped into something else. It’s like watching the sunrise. We don’t see the moment it begins. But suddenly, the light has changed. Something begins without beginning.
That’s how Pancha Kosha Meditation & Detoxification Retreat starts. Like a slow entrance into another dimension. The outside world becomes blurry. References start to fade : what time it is, what day, what role I carry. And without any big effort, I begin to land somewhere else. It is so subtle, but strong.
The retreat opens a space where everything starts to move differently. Time slows down, as if the world pauses. And inside, everything starts to shake.
From the very first night, my dreams become intense: old lovers, old wounds, some familiar, some unknown. Desires, memories, pain. Each dream pulls something from the unconscious up to the surface for a few days. Sometimes it feels like they’re trying to tell me something, but I prefer not to analyse, not to understand. Just to let them be.
And this goes on, while during the day, six times, I sit for Pranayama, a special and unique Kriya specially designed for this process. The breath takes all kinds of shapes and rhythms, until, one day, it starts to feel like each cell is breathing. From the soles of my feet to the top of my head, there’s a vibration, a soft sensation, like energy is caressing me through every part of the body.
My mind is another story. Inside, it’s as if two realities are overlapping. It is as if one of my feet is touching something very still, a ground beneath everything. Firm, stable, strong, unshakable. But the other foot is still in the air, moving, unsure, caught in a storm. That contrast between stillness and turbulence creates a pressure that’s hard to describe. It’s exhausting, but not physically. It’s like being stretched between two worlds.
I sense the silence behind the noise. But the noise is strong. Still, the practice continues. And I know it needs to. Because even though I feel like I’m walking towards a tsunami, I also know that it’s the only way. I don’t fear the storm, the storm is the result of something deeper which I can’t see.
The storm feels enormous as you walk towards it. But just when you’re about to touch it, it disappears, like a mirage in the desert. At the end, all is smaller than a grain of sand compared to the vastness of this universe. That’s what I realize, again and again, how the mind can make something so small feel so huge. The fear, the resistance, the projections magnifying somehow into something huge.
At some point, I see: it’s not the situation itself that I’m reacting to. It’s the fear of having to face something unknown, something deeper. That’s what gives it weight. But behind the clouds, the sun is always there. Always shining.
And by the end of the second week, once all the tsunamis have dissolved into the vast space of stillness, something shifts again. Stillness begins to take more space. It’s not something I create, it appears. And with it, a deeper silence and true love.
At that moment, a deep wish to stop everything around me takes over. And in that silence, the voices in my head, the ones that believe something needs to be told, corrected, adjusted, changed, the ones that need to speak, to share, to explain, to judge, to interact, they all start to appear as something different from me. A distance is created, and it becomes easier not to be taken by them, not to follow their story or their reality. I begin to see what comes from that role, and what doesn’t. And the more I stop reacting to it, the more those voices fade away, giving the space for something else to shine.
It’s full, so full…Rich… Glittering. There is a kind of playfulness in everything around me. I don’t need to comment on it. I don’t need to do anything about it. Everything is just… as it is.
And I feel carried by something. An invisible force, soft and kind, that carries me throughout the day.
By the end of the retreat, I feel light. Eventually, that lightness fades, a little. The moment I eat a bit more, or start to speak again, or enter regular conversations, my mind gets busy again. The outer world comes back. And I wait. I wait for the next retreat to come. Because that stillness, that depth, that peace, where nothing is missing, where I don’t need to move, where I can just be, is like an addiction. Not the kind that pulls, but the kind that calls.
It’s not pleasure, it’s beyond. Even pleasure disappears in it. It’s just a vast ocean where everything is ok and perfect as it is. Everything is fine, this or that are the same. Everything is as it should be. And everything will be. That becomes clear.
And every time, I wait again for the next retreat to begin. Because that space… That space is everything. It feels like a deep sense of arriving exactly where you’ve always been.
In this retreat, it doesn’t feel like I went on a trip for 21 days. It feels like I’m waking up from one. Waking up from the life I’ve been living, believing it was reality. What I come back to here feels more real than everything I usually call real. And all my past feels like clouds in the sky revealing immense love. Existing but without density. And the most surprising part is that I know this place. I’ve been here before. Many times. And every time I wonder…
Why do I forget?
Why do I keep going back to that life and call it real?
What creates this opportunity?
The wisdom behind the happening
First of all, it’s the wisdom of our teacher, Sage ViGo, the one who has the vision and clarity to create a space where every detail supports what must be built within. And the practices are perfectly aligned with the present moment. And they are unique.
This teacher is one of a kind. He has access to a presence that cannot be learned or copied. Nothing is mechanical with him, or prepared. Nothing comes from a book and nothing is already known before it happens, or is repeated. He is the foundation of this happening. He is the wisdom behind it.
And within that happening, all the details come together, so this space can truly open up inside each person. And yet, for every participant, the experience is different. Nothing is ever the same, not from one person to another, not even for the same person from one retreat to the next. Because we are new every time. And everything keeps changing.
A well designed set up
The environment that is created during this retreat is a key. An environment where all the usual inputs, those that constantly feed who we think we are, are cut out.
During the 21-day retreat, there’s no reading, no writing, no phone, no information to consume or react to. Just the simplicity of what is around: nature, birds, silence, and you. The reality of just you, in the moment. Nothing needs to be planned or thought through. No thoughts are needed.
Without those constant signals from the outside world, something in you begins to settle. The identity that is usually kept alive by interaction, stimulation, opinions, responses, starts to rest. People naturally stop conversing without purpose. When that space is given, something begins to unwind. It’s as if all the movement that usually flows outward is paused. And now, the system can finally realign inwardly, without interference.
Maybe that’s what the storm is. Something balancing itself rather than being a disturbance. Or simply expressing itself, within a space that has stopped interacting with it, stopped being confused by it or pulled into it. Something misaligned, now trying to return to its natural state. And all that constant input from the outside… it was simply keeping it alive, feeding it.
This retreat offers the space for that realignment to happen.
A practice that balances
And the practices are precise. Each one converges towards the same intention: to shake the set program of identity, constructed from outside perceptions, and to realign the source of expression with the inherent wisdom. From perception to expression.
Asana stirs the energy. The posture practice is especially designed for this process. It shakes what is stagnant. It brings the body and the breath into motion, breaking the patterns that gravity and habit have placed on us. Each cell is shaken in all directions, freed from any particular influence.
Then comes Pranayama, six times a day, half an hour each. A very unique Kriya. Very simple, subtle but so powerful. It prepares the soil. It brings balance. And over time, it becomes like a rocket that takes you towards yourself. Into depth.
The food itself becomes part of the practice. It is prepared according to the season, aligned with the rhythm of nature and the need for less processing. Light, nourishing, sattvic food supports the clarity of body and mind. Digestion becomes simpler, subtler, just like the inner movement.
There are also special meditations where you begin to perceive the completeness of your being through the five layers, Pancha Kosha. You don’t just study them, you experience them. Slowly, the boundaries between inside and outside begin to dissolve. There is no longer a clear ‘in’ or ‘out’, only one reality, one presence.
Some meditations happen in the early morning, in front of the rising sun, or with the inner light of the Self. These are powerful moments, where perception no longer divides but begins to unify. The senses stop separating. Instead, they begin to reflect the wholeness that was always there.
Those practices are subtle but so powerful. You don’t even feel it when it starts. Like Ayurveda, it works subtly, patiently. You find yourself in another space, and when it ends, you think: “What was that?” Because nothing happened. And yet everything changed.
Stillness, the real medicine
There is no substance, no tool, no distraction. Nothing other than yourself is used in this purification. You become the medicine. Only stillness. And that stillness, undisturbed by outside noise, does what no medicine can do.
The more you align to it, the more what is inside begins to resolve. You don’t need anything from the outside to feel full. The craving stops. The seeking pauses. And life begins to bloom from within.
That’s the gift: a space where contentment is a direct experience. And once touched, it leaves a trace. An intense pull. A path you know has no return. Because that peace is too real, that space too light… and that ‘you’ is simply happy to exist as it is.
And even as I say this, I know, it’s only a grain of sand compared to what’s possible. My eyes opened for a few hours, and it felt like not even seconds. But that’s enough. Because every time, I remember. And I know: this is te only thing that truly matters.
And maybe one day… I’ll stop returning to the noise of my mind.
About the author
Emily has always been drawn to discovering life. From a young age, she felt there was something deeper behind the world she saw, something vast and undefinable. She didn’t follow a straight path. Instead, her life has been a journey of exploration, coming closer to what she feels inside: freedom, immense love, and expansion.
She left behind a world that didn’t feel like home to find the one that lives within. Her life has been, and continues to be, a return to simplicity and to her true Self.
For many years, Emily has walked this journey in India, close to her teacher Vijay (also known as Sage ViGo), for whom she holds immense gratitude. His guidance opened the door to her own heart and to the silence she had always longed for.
She has followed and participated several times to the Pancha Kosha Meditation & Detoxification Retreats as well as many 200-hrs and 300-hrs Yoga Teacher Training Programmes and a variety of other events and programmes from Yoga Gita.
Today, Emily does not seek to teach in the usual way. She envisions creating a space, where people can return to themselves, away from expectations, society norms and roles. A space of silence, simplicity, and presence, where people who share that love in their heart feel free and safe to be as they are.
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