Part 2:
Abhyasa and Vairagya in daily life
| By Martine, The Netherlands
Table of Contents
Introduction
We all wish to live a joyful and easeful life. In a family, we hope for happiness and celebration in our shared journey. Yet, despite these intentions, many families struggle to experience this fully. Beyond individual challenges, family interactions often add layers of complexity.
In this blog, we will explore why this happens and how to shift from a path of struggle to a path of growth, an exploration of unlimited possibilities.
When we recognize that the true purpose of life is to know our real Self and uncover our full potential, we see that every distraction is a loss of life itself. The ancient wisdom of the Patanjali Yoga Sutras offers a profound understanding of the science of life, showing that it is possible for every human being to step beyond struggle.
Family life plays a crucial role in supporting this transformation, not just for individuals but for generations to come. As parents, we hold the responsibility of creating an environment for growth, not by sacrificing our own lives, but by embracing family as a space for evolution for all members. This might sound like a serious and overwhelming task, but in reality, it can be a joyful and playful journey when approached with the right understanding.
For generations, people have sought change, and spiritual teachers have tried to awaken humanity, yet wars still exist. Even within families, conflicts and separations occur. However, rather than losing hope, we can remain positive, continue evolving, and embrace a new way of living, starting within the most precious environment of all: the family. From there, transformation can extend to communities, education, nations and the world.
Family as the base for life
Family is the first playground of life, where we have the opportunity to explore in a safe and loving environment. It is where we learn to play the game of life without targets, winners, or losers, an environment to explore, experience, fall, and rise again. A space of unconditional care and love, where all can live together in harmony. But how many families truly embody this? How many create such an environment for their children and themselves?
Perhaps no family fully achieves this ideal, shaped as we are by our own upbringing, education, religion, and society. These influences bring common obstacles that we carry with us. However, if we accept these conditions as a natural part of human life, we also see an open door to live beyond them. In doing so, we realize that family life offers a unique opportunity to establish a firm foundation for entering the wider world.
Family as an entrance for change: The path of Abhyasa and Vairagya
This blog explores how family life offers a profound opportunity for transformation when understood through the lens of Abhyasa and Vairagya, as described in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. These terms are often translated as practice (Abhyasa) and non-attachment (Vairagya), yet their significance extends far beyond these definitions, they shape the very way we engage with life.
From a broader perspective, Abhyasa is about living life in its completeness. Life unfolds through the interplay of consciousness and nature. Where consciousness reflects and integrates the experiences of nature. To live consciously means to be fully present in each moment, continuously evolving beyond limitations and opening to infinite possibilities. In this sense, life itself becomes the practice, not just the time spent on a yoga mat. A structured practice serves as a foundation, helping us cultivate an effortless relationship with life, allowing growth to unfold naturally.
Similarly, Vairagya is often misinterpreted as detachment in the sense of withdrawal or renunciation. However, in a deeper sense, it is not about separating from the world or abandoning everything in search of happiness. Rather, Vairagya is the ability to remain fully engaged and present while staying free from the influence of external circumstances, unnecessary attachments, and internal fears, patterns, or blockages.
We often carry the weight of past experiences, allowing them to linger long after they have passed. Instead of witnessing them, responding appropriately when needed, and letting them dissolve naturally, we unconsciously internalize them, sometimes for years. This burden can strain even the most cherished relationships within a family. Learning to “travel light” is a profound shift that can bring immense transformation.
Abhyasa and Vairagya are mentioned together by Patanjali for a reason. If we wish to live life to its fullest potential, we must cultivate the ability to remain steadfast in our vision. This requires inner strength, not forceful determination, but a subtle, unwavering commitment. Life constantly presents distractions, challenges, and temptations that pull us away from conscious living. This is the mind’s tendency, to seek comfort in familiar patterns and distractions rather than aligning with conscious living. The Abhyasa Patanjali speaks of is not just a practice confined to a yoga mat; it is a conscious way of being, an active engagement with life.
In family life, Vairagya is not about rejecting material things but about maintaining clarity and balance amidst external disturbances. This allows consciousness to express itself fully, without obstruction. Family life provides the perfect training ground for this. The ease with which we navigate life is reflected in how often we are triggered or disturbed by situations. When family life becomes a space to witness, engage, resolve and evolve, it transforms into a profound gift. It cultivates an ease that extends into education, the workplace, community, society and beyond.
How to start: A practical approach toward stability and ease through Sthira Sukham
With a clear understanding of Abhyasa and Vairagya, we can now explore how to begin integrating these principles into daily life. Patanjali describes Sthira (stability) and Sukham (ease or comfort) as essential qualities for a conscious way of living.
When we connect this to Vairagya, it becomes evident that stability is necessary to remain unaffected by external circumstances. If we are easily disturbed, becoming angry, irritated, impatient, or resistant to situations, we lose our stability and connection with life. The ability to stay steady and at ease is essential, especially in this era of rapid change and innovation. More than ever, this quality is needed.
However, stability does not mean isolating ourselves or rejecting everything around us. It is not about remaining unaffected in a distant, detached way, as if saying, “I am cool and untouched.” That kind of separation is ultimately an illusion, we cannot exist apart from life. The stability Patanjali speaks of is about being steady with everything, remaining centered in all situations. From this inner balance, a natural sense of ease begins to emerge.
This is the true purpose of practicing yoga postures, nothing else. By placing the body in different positions and remaining equally stable and at ease, we cultivate immense inner strength. This steadiness then extends into all aspects of life. Without going too deep into this for now, we can already see its direct relevance to family life. In a family setting, this principle can be introduced in a playful, natural way. As this approach is embraced, a deeper sense of ease unfolds effortlessly.
Practical tips
Integrating these insights into daily life doesn’t require drastic changes. Here are some playful and practical ways to naturally bring awareness and balance into family life.
1. Straight back alert
A straight back is essential for maintaining energy and freshness in life. When the spine is upright, it allows the natural upward flow of energy, which connects to the seat of consciousness, expanding awareness and opening new dimensions of life.
As an experiment, observe what happens to your posture when you are triggered. If you feel irritated, angry, or sad, your back tends to round. Now, try keeping your back straight while recalling something that upsets you. You’ll notice that it becomes difficult to sustain those emotions. This highlights the importance of an upright spine.
In a family setting, this awareness can be cultivated in a caring way. Family members can gently remind each other when they notice a rounded back. To make it playful, especially for children, introduce a fun challenge: if someone is seen with a rounded back, they have to express themselves in a creative way, perhaps by dancing like a monkey or making a funny sound. This playful approach strengthens awareness while keeping the journey lighthearted.
2. Stable and ease moments
Take intentional moments to explore stability and ease. Start with a simple posture, standing naturally, balanced on both feet, effortless yet steady. Observe how long you can remain unchanged. Then, try balancing on one leg while maintaining the same easiness and steadiness.
This practice can be integrated into daily life, done alone, as a family, or even in the middle of a busy household moment. To deepen the experience, try it with closed eyes and notice the shifts in balance and awareness.
3. Think or do the opposite
Self-reflection is a key pillar of personal growth. One accessible way to cultivate this is by consciously thinking or acting in the opposite way of your usual tendencies. This can be introduced as a family practice, perhaps for an hour on a Sunday morning, where everyone participates together.
If you find yourself reacting negatively to something, pause and reverse the pattern. For example, if you often feel irritated when a family member takes too long in the bathroom, instead of letting frustration build, shift your mindset. Consciously think the opposite and allow them to enjoy their time while you happily do something else, why not? Sing, dance, or turn the moment into a joke. This small shift dissolves unnecessary tensions and reveals the insignificance of certain habitual reactions.
4. The react gap
It is common to react instantly to what someone says or does, often driven by emotion. Introducing a “react gap”, a simple pause before responding, can transform communication patterns within a family.
Try waiting five seconds before replying to someone. This brief pause creates space for awareness, allowing you to observe your habitual reactions and respond more consciously. When practiced together, it refreshes interactions and strengthens mindfulness in daily conversations.
By embracing these simple yet powerful practices as a family, we create a foundation of awareness, stability, and ease, allowing transformation to unfold effortlessly in all aspects of life.
A moment of reflection
All of us wish for a happy and easy life, as well as the best environment and opportunities for our children. At the same time, we are eager to explore, discover, and expand, especially as science and technology advance, travel becomes more accessible, and information is available at our fingertips. We are moving toward a world of limitless possibilities.
But amidst this rapid external progress, are we also uplifting human consciousness to balance the speed of change? No scientific breakthrough or technological invention alone can create true harmony or a sense of oneness among people. For that, we need to understand the science of life itself, wisdom that has been shared by realized souls like Sage Patanjali long ago.
Now, at this very moment, we have an opportunity. Despite the incredible developments happening around us, we can bring forth another dimension, one that integrates this ancient knowledge, like the Yoga Sutras into our daily lives. And what better place to start than within ourselves? Many people search for clarity through yoga, but taking it a step further, bringing this awareness into our homes and family life, has the power to transform not just individuals, but entire communities.
If each family makes a start, imagine the ripple effect, shaping education, workplaces, societies, and even nations. After the first blog on conscious family living (the role of the senses, Pratyahara), this blog offers another opening, an opportunity to understand and implement change in a simple, practical way. And the best part? You don’t have to wait. The first step can begin today. Why not?
About the author
After exploring various paths in life, ranging from playing the French horn professionally and planning and programming for cultural centers, to organizing congresses and events for local government and teaching Yoga to children, Martine eventually settled in India with her husband and daughter.
Realizing that understanding one’s true Self is the ultimate purpose and the key to a joyful life, Martine dedicates her time to applying ancient wisdom in everyday living. She chose to embrace a Yogic way of living at Yoga Gita Ashram under the guidance of Sage ViGo.
