Part 1:
Pratyahara In Daily Life
| By Martine, The Netherlands
Table of Contents
Why Family Matters
We are all born into families, which serve as our first exposure to how life is lived. The experiences of the first four years within our families shape us significantly, influencing how our journey begins and what we might carry forward. This highlights the importance of conscious family living. Family is like the first school of life, preparing us for the wider world.
A family environment that adds unnecessary burdens or rigid conditions can stifle the natural openness and potential for growth. Parenting, therefore, is one of life’s most precious opportunities, requiring utmost sensitivity and awareness. As parents, it is vital to reflect on what we intend to pass on to our children. Should they live according to our unfulfilled expectations, or should they be exposed to endless possibilities that align with their unique paths?
What Is the purpose of Life?
Let us first explore the purpose of life. Ultimately, all our experiences, interactions, and actions have one profound goal: to understand ourselves. Life is a journey of self-discovery, learning, and growth.
Each individual has their own paths and intentions in life. If we view life as an opportunity to understand ourselves, then creating a family environment that fosters this understanding becomes the most beautiful gift we can give to the ones we love and care utmost about. Material possessions and achievements are fleeting, but the opportunity to understand and live life to its fullest potential is a gift that endures.
The Role of the Senses
Family life, especially in cultures where large, multi-generational families live together, can be an intense sensory experience. Everything we see, hear, smell, and feel in this environment can either support or hinder our growth.
The senses are incredible tools. They help us navigate the world—allowing us to see, hear and feel, and respond to our environment. However, we often misuse them by letting judgments, opinions, and preconceived notions color our perceptions. For example, when you see your child, you may project your own ideas onto them, or when your mother enters the room, you may anticipate her words and actions based on past experiences, rather than perceiving her as she is in the present moment.
In reality, everything in nature changes constantly, including our family members. To see them with fresh eyes each moment, without conditioning or judgment, can transform relationships. Though challenging, taking steps toward unconditioned perception is possible.
The importance of this concept is beautifully explained in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali as Pratyahara, the fifth limb of the Yogic path. From this perspective, family life can either become a platform for growth or a source of restriction, depending on how consciously we approach it. When family life is awarefull, it can inspire harmonious living in broader communities and beyond.
My Life or the Life of Others?
To explore this question, we must first understand how life unfolds. Life is the interplay of consciousness and nature. Consciousness reflects nature, allowing us to perceive the world around us. Without consciousness, nothing exists for us.
Everything that happens in life is a reflection of consciousness. This means all aspects of life—pleasant or challenging—are part of our journey. Blaming others or rejecting parts of life creates division, but understanding that others are extensions of ourselves – life unfolds as we are – fosters compassion and unity. This realization enables us to treat others as we would ourselves.
Restriction or Expansion?
Family life can either restrict individual growth or create a space for expansion. Expansion and restriction are like light and darkness—where one exists, the other cannot.
From an early age, awareness is often restricted by external influences, particularly the family environment we grow up in. To truly evolve, we must move beyond rigid beliefs. When awareness is limited, it creates division—one of the root causes of human struggles. Narrow thinking leads to decisiveness, which fosters psychological distress. When we rigidly hold onto conclusions, we block openness to new possibilities. Expanding awareness means embracing the unknown and remaining open to fresh perspectives.
Causes of Restriction
Here are four common causes of restriction in family life:
- Living “My” Life Instead of “Life”:
In individualistic societies, there is often an emphasis on living “my way.” In a family, this approach creates conflict, as each member’s desires may clash. Letting go of the “my” mindset and embracing shared experiences and being open for new ways creates harmony. - Describing the Other:
Analyzing and labeling others—especially children—can limit their potential. When we describe someone, we fix their identity, leaving no room for growth. Instead, support family members by creating space for reflection and exploration. - Pre-informing:
This habit is particularly strong in the West. By telling in advance what will happen or where you will go, the space for openness to new experiences becomes limited. When we already know what to expect, it can trigger reactions such as likes and dislikes, desires and aversions, or expectations of gaining something. Allowing more spontaneity can help cultivate presence and receptivity to the unknown - Independence and Connection:
While independence and connection may seem contradictory, they coexist harmoniously when rooted in self-awareness. True independence means being happy and fulfilled within yourself, while connection means recognizing that all beings are interconnected.
How to Live a Conscious Family Life
Living consciously means being fully present, free from the burdens of past memories or future anxieties. While achieving this entirely may not be realistic for most, we can take steps in this direction.
In family life, moments of silence are a powerful tool for fostering presence and connection. Create opportunities for family members to spend time in silence—individually and collectively. For example, share a silent meal or go for a quiet walk in nature. These moments help deepen awareness and communication beyond words.Silence is the only way to (re)connect with our pure state and dissolve external triggers. When integrated into family life, it allows each member to navigate situations with greater ease. If every family would dedicate 20 minutes a day to sitting in silence together, it could bring about a profound change in the world.
Practical Tips for a Joyful Family Life
- Role Reversal Games: Playfully mimic each family member’s habits or styles to build empathy and understanding.
- Moments of Silence: Dedicate time to silence during meals, walks, or sitting together.
- No Complaints Day: Choose a day when no one complains or objects. Reflect on the clarity this practice brings.
- Shared Responsibilities: Encourage everyone to participate in daily tasks, fostering involvement and teamwork.
A moment of Reflection
Living as a family is a precious gift. While challenges are inevitable, approaching family life with the wisdom of ancient philosophies, like Yoga, can transform it into a joyful and fulfilling experience. Starting with yourself and extending love and awareness to those around you can contribute to a harmonious world.
Reflect on these ideas, adapt them creatively, and enjoy your family journey.
Reading Tips
- Family as a Microcosm of Life: The Bhagavad Gita offers profound insights into living harmoniously in a world filled with challenges, much like this blog emphasizes balancing individual growth and collective family harmony.
- Swami Rama’s insights are particularly suited for readers seeking to integrate spiritual wisdom into family life while navigating the challenges of relationships and personal growth. “Love and Family Life” is a profound resource for creating a nurturing, conscious, and joyful family environment.
- If you prefer a more modern or family-focused perspective, “The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents” by Deepak Chopra might also align well. This book distills timeless spiritual wisdom into practical guidance for creating a nurturing and conscious family environment.
Word of Thanks
Feeling deeply thankful for the opportunity to explore the vastness of Yoga in a way that integrates its applicability into life, enabling us to bring out the best in ourselves and create a flourishing future for next generations. This precious gift, guided with unlimited love and patience by Sage ViGo in Yoga Gita Ashram, is shared with immense care and dedication.
About the Author
After exploring various paths in life—ranging from playing the French horn professionally and planning and programming for cultural centers, to organizing congresses and events for local government and teaching Yoga to children—Martine eventually settled in India with her husband and daughter.
Realizing that understanding one’s true Self is the ultimate purpose and the key to a joyful life, Martine dedicates her time to applying ancient wisdom in everyday living. She chose to embrace a Yogic way of living at Yoga Gita Ashram under the guidance of Sage ViGo.
