Part 4: A Different Quality of Family Life through Pancha Kosha Alignment
By Martine, the Netherlands
Table of Contents
Family connection
We are all born in a family, which we can consider a gift of creation. Family, being a home. But how do we treat this gift, how do we connect within a family? Most families are connected from the angle of matter, only on the physical level. This is expressed in a connection of giving, taking, seeing and hearing. In this blog, we will look beyond the often unnoticed and limited form of family connection that has become common. Seen from the Yogic anatomy, a connection between family members on all levels of human existence, brings an opening for a strong, different qualitative family life. A family life supported by shared love, affection, peace, joy and celebration.
Before diving into how this is practically possible, let’s first look at what is life and what is this Yogic perspective on human existence and life.
What is life?
Practically, we know someone is alive when he or she breathes, has a heartbeat, blood circulating and a functional metabolic system. But these essentials apply for many living creatures, maybe in different forms, but all indicating life is happening. For humans life brings a vaster possibility than being physically alive. The main difference between animals and human beings is the human capacity for Self-reflection, the possibility to witness, to learn and evolve in life.
How life happens, the Yogic view
To understand how life truly happens, we look through the Yogic perspective. Yoga, in Sanskrit Yuj, means union. Union of consciousness and nature, where consciousness reflects nature. We all share the same consciousness, which is spread in the whole of creation. From this angle we are all one. For this union to happen we have to be present, fully expressive and aware. Fully connected with all layers of our existence to merge with existence. This is the final stage of Yoga, union, Samadhi, liberation.
Who are you?
Who are you? Most people don’t know how to answer this question. Are you your name, your job, your role in life? But who are you in relation to life, anatomically? Are you a body, breath and a mind? From the perspective of Yogic anatomy we exist of 5 layers, 5 sheats, explained as the five (Pancha) Kosha in ancient Upanishads. The five Koshas are from gross to subtle, body, breath (energy), mind, wisdom and soul. If we know we are more than a physical entity, we understand that a connection beyond physical can open a completely different and more qualitative way for a connection between human beings and in this context in a family life.
Pancha Kosha alignment in family life
Let us explore how a qualitative alignment of the 5 sheaths (Pancha Kosha) in between family members is possible:
- Body (Annamaya):
The only purpose of practice of Yoga asana is to develop easiness and comfort in each posture as explained in Patanjali Yoga Sutras “Sthiram Sukham Asanam”. The body is placed in different positions without affecting the ease and comfort. The same easiness that is experienced in neutral standing can be experienced in any other body position. This is possible when the body is balanced and fully expressive. The body becomes very light. If the body is effortless, expansion towards the more subtle layers is possible. By exposing the body to this way of asana practice a change will happen in life, in any life situation, to stay more at ease and less affected. In family life many things happen, many interactions, situations, which can easily affect and create effort and struggle. If the family knows how to be at ease and comfortable on the level of the body, there is a base to move to a new dimension of living together and not to get stuck on the physical level. To move in this direction starts with bringing this approach for the body, the grossest layer, for an opening towards the more subtle layers and alignment in between family members. - Breath (Pranamaya):
When the body becomes more subtle, a natural connection with the next sheath will happen, the breath or actually the connection with life energy. Life energy (Prana) is everywhere around us and the practice of Pranayama (being with Prana) brings a way to connect with it. If Pranayama is practised as a family it also supports an opening of awareness that we are not different, we all breathe the same air. The exhale from one is the inhale for the next. For example the practice of Anuloma Viloma (alternate nostril breathing) brings balance and supports further easiness and subtleness. It also helps to reconnect to and express the unlimited energy that is naturally available, especially for children. Practice of Pranayama supports the aliveness, learning to channelise the energy for Self-expression. Pranayama supports the process towards more subtlety for a connection with the next sheath, the mind. - Mind (Manomaya):
The mind is a tricky one, it is both an amazing tool and a platform for union but it can also do completely the opposite. If the mind becomes the base for life, it will bring only separation. In families it is very important for parents to understand that nothing should be implemented on children and no ‘wrong’ things should be supported, anything that keeps them away from Self-expression. Alignment on mind level is only possible on a frequency of a common mind, based on no mind, no gaining, perceiving through the mind. If within a family such a connection happens, differences can dissolve. For this to happen, meditation has to be practised in the family. Meditation with an attitude of aligning to oneness, not separation through differences, and with a sense of gratefulness for being born into a family, a home, a gift of creation. - Wisdom (Vijnanamaya):
If we are able to connect on the frequency of a common mind, the thoughts will become less. This is described in the second sutra of Samadhi Pada of Patanjali as citta vrtti nirodhah. When thoughts fade, the mind becomes crystal clear to reflect life. Then a connection with the next sheath, wisdom can happen. Wisdom is knowing, not reproducing information collected from outside. Wisdom brings clarity. For a connection with the wisdom sheath we can try as a family to be together without language. Just starting with 5 or 10 minutes not to use any language, not to speak and simply observe any arising thought, without engaging. If a connection with the other is possible like this, all differences will fade and a togetherness in sameness starts to happen. From this alignment a natural shift to the most subtle sheath will open. - Soul (Anandamaya):
In this sheath alignment with the same consciousness happens. The consciousness that is spread in all of creation. In the alignment of consciousness, all sense of ‘me’ and ‘you’ dissolves, only oneness remains. Then just being remains, connected, as one.
After understanding the deeper significance of each Kosha, we now explore how this can be lived in the simplicity of daily family life.
A practical approach to bring Pancha Kosha alignment into family life
How to begin? The starting point is not to add more to family life, but to bring awareness and presence into what is already there. The following approaches are simple, natural ways to support alignment on each layer, together as a family. Before exploring each sheath again with practical steps for daily family life, let’s look at the effect of vibration through sound.
Vibration
Sound is an accessible way to connect with the vibration of existence. For example the sound of Om is the core sound of all and comes closest to the sound of creation. When chanted together, the experience itself reveals how differences dissolve, both between family members and in our relation to nature. Besides chanting Om, there are many chants from the ancient scriptures that are suitable to bring into daily family life. For example to chant together before a meal or before any of the following ways to align, brings an instant connection.
Before continuing on the level of each sheath, take a moment for this ancient chant from Upanishads for unity and harmony:
SAHA CHANT
Om sahana vavatu
sahana bunaktu
sahaviryam karavavaheai
tejasvina vadithamastu
madivi shavaheai
om shanti, shanti, shanti
Let’s now explore each Kosha again for a simple approach for a new family alignment
Body (Annamaya)
Create moments to experience being at ease and comfort in simple balance postures. No need for complex sequences; standing balance postures with this intention bring a shift. Let the intention be to align in comfort and ease. It can be playful by creating some movement, and always returning to that same sense. Slowly, this ease will transform how we relate, listen, and respond in everyday life.
Breath (Pranamaya)
Sitting together in connection with the breath, even just to observe the natural breath flow and bring awareness to the natural breath, deep, subtle, and continuous, which supports a more subtle connection. Sitting in presence, in silence, just noticing the breath as it flows in and out, brings a sense of sharing the same air, the same life energy, being the same. To bring Pranayama practice in daily family life rhythm is even more supportive. For example, to start and end the day with Anuloma Viloma (alternate nostril breathing) or to dedicate a moment for Pranayama practice before shared meals will shift the family connection from body to energy.
Mind (Manomaya)
Choose a time in the day, even just 5 minutes, to sit together in silence. As mentioned before, meditation brings a frequency for the common mind. Meditation is not something we can do, it is something that happens. For it to happen we have to create space and an environment within family life. Simply to be. If we sit together, expressing gratitude for the gift of creation for this family, and with an intention to resolve the differences. Beyond the different ways, aligning with oneness, not through differences. The shared intention is not to solve anything, but to open up for something new, an alignment based on no mind, a common mind.
Wisdom (Vijnanamaya)
In meditation alignment on the frequency of a common mind happens and thoughts become less. In the next sheath, the wisdom, we can gently test this. Can we stay together without language? Without speaking, but also without thinking, speaking of the mind. Try this for example for 5 minutes. This will give immense clarity and a new and very precious connection within the family starts to happen, purely based on love, affection, peace, joy and celebration.
Soul (Anandamaya)
In this sheath, in alignment with consciousness we all share, are connected, are one. Practically a pure silence remains. If a family aligns in consciousness, it is very precious, more than anything else that can happen.
Simple and playful ways to align as a family
To make it even more simple and playful, here are a few suggestions to explore in daily family life:
- Stay connected, not distracted: a presence alert
Throughout the day, bring awareness to moments of true presence with each other. Let presence be the priority, more than the phone, the task, or the to-do. If you wish to bring some playfulness, anyone can gently ring a bell to pause, reflect and (re)connect, just a moment. - Connect with life, not with a device
Create device-free moments, like Sunday morning, or 1 hour before bed, and replace them with shared stillness, play, or breath. - My way, way of the other, new way
Instead of holding on to “my way” or “your way,” play with it. Try doing things the way of another family member, or explore a new way together. This can be applied in simple everyday moments, like setting the table differently or choosing a new path to walk. It opens a playful understanding of each other, based on love, without judgment. The intention is to support one another and nurture a different family connection.
Final reflection
If we look at how we mostly live together in families, in society, we understand now it is very limited and impossible to live together in harmony, love and celebration. The differences will always remain if we continue like this. To bring a different alignment between family members, one based on the 5 sheaths, a very different qualitative family life is possible. By aligning through the five Koshas, family life transforms from mere interaction into connection. From managing differences into dissolving separation. From habit to harmony. In being truly together, we return home. Home to Yoga. Home to Life. Home to our Self. If this direction will be adapted and embraced in many families it will naturally spread into society and beyond, towards one world, one family.
Read more about conscious family living in the previous 3 blogs: part 1, part 2 and part 3.
Word of thankfulness
Sharing like this is only possible through the presence and guidance of Sage ViGo, who brings alive a new perspective on family life. A clarity rooted in the essence of ancient scriptures like the Patanjali Yoga Sutra, lived today and valuable for generations to come.
About the author
After exploring various paths in life, ranging from playing the French horn professionally and planning and programming for cultural centers, to organising congresses and events for local government and teaching Yoga to children, Martine eventually settled in India with her husband and daughter. For more about her family journey, see the blog East, West, Home in Awareness.
Realising that understanding one’s true Self is the ultimate purpose and the key to a joyful life, Martine dedicates her time to applying ancient wisdom in everyday living. She chose to embrace a Yogic way of life, under the guidance of Sage ViGo.
